A Bleach Christmas Disaster
by IchiRuki-Obsessed
Summary: A Christmas IchiRuki fanfic.What could possibly make Christams a disaster in the the Kurosaki residence? what else do you get if put a drunken Byakuya,hyper Rukia,annoyed Ichigo, mistletoe, a pissed off Kon, Isshin and Urahara in in the same room? ON HOLD
1. Christmas?

Hello again :D this is a Christmas fanfic. I know its not even December yet but this story has been in my head for a long time and I wanted to write it down. I'm not sure if I'll add another chapter but anyways please enjoy ^^

_Couple:_IchiRuki

_Rated:_ M for safety

I do not own bleach or any of the characters, Kubo-sensei does :D

000

"ICHHHHHIIIGOOOOO" yelled Isshin throwing a punch at his son, which Ichigo easily dodged.

_-BANG-_

"What's wrong with you, attacking your son right when he walk's through the door!" Ichigo screamed at his now bleeding father on the ground.

"It's father-son-bonding" Ichigo's father said holding his now throbbing nose.

"You think you would be use to it by now Ichigo-kun" snickered Rukia from the doorway.

"She has a point Ichi-nii" Karin said walking into the room.

"Oh my third daughter, how was your day at school!?" Isshin bellowed jumping up from the ground and rushing over to Rukia's side.

"Very good, thank you Mr. Kurosaki" Rukia replied in her fake voice with a fake smile included.

"Rukia-Chan I wish you would call me daddy-!"

"Shut up you freak!" an angry Ichigo screamed punching his father in the stomach.

"Dinner's ready!" came Yuzu's voice from the kitchen.

"Yuzu, Ichigo hurt daddy!" cried Isshin running into the kitchen.

"Your family is as funny as ever" Rukia said to Ichigo with a smile.

"Says you" Ichigo sighed rubbing his temples.

000

"So, Rukia-chan are you going to be here for Christmas?" asked Isshin at the dinner table.

_Christmas….? Oh yes, Inoue was telling me about that strange human holiday a few days ago..._ Rukia thought to herself before answering.

"I believe so…"

"Yay its going to be so much fun Rukia-chan!' an energetic Yuzu exclaimed.

'Ichigo, you know what you should get your old man for Christmas?!" Isshin asked Ichigo who was stuffing his face with noodles.

"….I'm scared to ask…." Ichigo said looking at his father with narrow eyes.

" You and Rukia should grant me the gift of grandchildren!" the man cheered. Of course Rukia took a drink at that very moment and started coughing and spraying the table .

"God you pervert!" screamed a red-faced Ichigo.

"What? you two are at breeding age" Isshin said tiring to look innocent.

"Shut up!" the strawberry screamed trying to kick his father under the table.

"Oh what's wrong Ichigo are you not attracted to Rukia-chan? How can you not be she's beautiful!" Isshin ranted.

"I never said that-"

"Ha, so you admitted you are!" Ichigo's father cheered.

"No I didn't!-"

" Yes you did!…Wait, are you into that yaoi thing?"

"What? No?!" he screamed back at his father.

"So why not grant me the gift of grandchildren?" the man whined. At this point Ichigo was bright red from anger and embarrassment.

"Mr. Kurosaki, Ichigo and I are just friends" Rukia finally broke in.

"Aww, but you two would make such beautiful children together" Isshin whined again. Ichigo started banging his head against the table.

"Ichigo stop that or you'll break the table with that hard head of your" Rukia said with a smirk. Ichigo stopped and looked up at the girl sitting next to him.

"Ha, ha, very funny" he said sarcastically glaring at her. Rukia just smiled back.

"Back to the Christmas matter" Isshin said getting serious."Would you like to invite anyone Rukia-chan?"

"Well my friend Renji would probably want to come…" she answered slowly.

"No way I don't want him in my house!" Ichigo screamed.

"Get over it Ichigo he's coming" Rukia hissed back.

"How do you know he'll even want to come?" Ichigo asked with narrow eyes.

"I know him" she answered with a smile.

"ok so this Renji fellow is coming….how about any family members…?" Isshin asked

"well I could ask my brother…." she said softly.

"NO WAY IN HELL!" Ichigo screamed.

"Shut up Ichi-nii" Karin huffed from across the table.

"I don't think he would…want…I mean…he's very busy" Rukia added

"I bet he will!" screamed Isshin getting up from the table and running over to the phone.

"Who are you calling daddy?" asked a confused Yuzu.

"Byakuya-kun" he said dialing.

"What!? How do ya know Byakuya?" Ichigo asked with wide eyes.

"From the olden days…" the man replied.

"But-"

"SHHHHHH I'M ON THE PHONE!" Isshin randomly screamed.

_"Hello?"_

"Hello? Byakuya-kun? its Kurosaki Isshin" Isshin said walking into the other room. Everyone at the table looked at each other, then got up at the same time and rushed over to listen.

_"What do you want? And it's captain Kuchiki to you"_ Byakuya replied in his normal cold voice.

"Well I don't know if you know this but in the human world its almost a special holiday…"

_"A holiday..?"_ he asked sitting in his office.

"Yes a holiday…meant to be spent with family…" Isshin said trailing off.

_"What are you getting at?"_ the sixth division captain asked.

"Well the Kurosaki family wants to know if you want to join us in the celebration."

_" Why would I? I hate you….and your son…"_

"You're so mean Byakuya-kun! Besides Rukia wants you to come" Isshin whined

_"…She does………?"_Byakuya asked somewhat shocked.

"Yes. What did you think just because you were…well, are a crappy brother and you were going to let her be executed…..wow that sounded better in my head…."

_"………What day is it on…?"_Byakuya sighed.

"The 25th" Isshin said overly cheerful.

"I see…" he commented looking out the window.

"So does that mean your coming Byakuya-kun!?" Isshin asked.

_"Yes….and don't yell fool…also, stop calling me…"Byakuya-kun"_ he answered pinching the bridge of his noise.

"Okay, tell Renji he's invited too" Isshin said with a big goofy grin even though Byakuya wasn't there to see it.

_"Fine. Do I bring anything for this holiday?…"_Byakuya asked with a headache. It seemed to always happen when he talked to this Kurosaki….or any Kurosaki in general.

"the holiday is called Christmas and yes bring presents"

_"presents…?"_

"Yes for me, Ichigo, Rukia, Renji and my two eleven-year-old daughters, oh and Urahara and Yoruichi might stop by so presents for them might be necessary" he said counting off on his fingers.

_"Fine, I guess I could take a vacation for a few days…I will be there tomorrow evening"_

"But where will you stay?" Isshin asked.

_"You invited me so I presume I will be staying with you"_Byakuya said with another sight.

"Oh, well, we're kinda low on space…" the Kurosaki said.

_"I will be there tomorrow evening"_and with that the Kuchiki hung up on the man. Isshin glared at the phone for a moment before hanging it up on the receiver.

"Byakuya-kun is coming!" Isshin screamed.

"You got him to come?" Rukia asked shocked as Isshin walked back into the kitchen and saw everyone standing around the corner.

"Yes and its not nice to eavesdrop" the man said with a smirk.

"Whatever" Ichigo grunted and with that, everyone made their way into the living room.

"So how did you get Nii-sama to come?' Rukia asked sitting next to Ichigo on the couch.

"All I said was that you wanted him to come and he agreed" he answered after hearing that, Rukia blushed and looked away.

"Great now we have to deal with Byakuya on fuckin' Christmas" Ichigo hissed looking at his pain in the ass father.

"Well… that is not all right…he will be here tomorrow" said the "pain in the ass".

"What?! Ugh just great!" Ichigo spat.

"He can't be that bad Ichi-nii" Karin said with a bored look.

"Yeah, no one that's related to Rukia-chan could be that bad" Yuzu nodded sitting next to her twin.

"Well you never met Byakuya…its like something crawled up his ass and died!-"

"Don't talk about Nii-sama that way!" Rukia hissed after she punched Ichigo in the arm.

"Oww, god Rukia" he whined rubbing his arm. "Well its getting late we should get to bed…" Ichigo finished standing up and making his way up the stairs, his sisters and Rukia following close behind.

"Good night my wonderful children, daddy loves you all!" Isshin screamed waving at the foot of the stairs.

"I'm so ashamed to say I'm related to that moron" Ichigo muttered as they reached the top of the staircase.

"Night Onii-chan" Yuzu said hugging her brother, Ichigo smiled as he hugged her back.

"Night Ichi-nii" Karin said walking into the room she shares with her twin and Rukia; not bothering to give her big brother a hug.

"Nigh Karin, night Yuzu" he said as he watch Yuzu follow Karin into their room. After that he turned to Rukia and noticed her smiling.

"What?" he asked curious.

"It's funny….you are so powerful and yet you are so kind and gentle to your sisters.." she answered trailing off.

"I guess, it's.. that… they're my sister and that's how big brothers act …and you think I'm powerful? "

he finished surprised.

"Always have" she answered nonchalantly.

"You never told me that before…"

"You never asked" she slyly responded, walking around him to the doorway of her temporary bedroom.

"Good night Rukia" Ichigo said softly with a smile.

"…Good night Ichigo" and with that they both when into there separate bedrooms and fell asleep with smiles on their faces; even though tomorrow would most likely turn out be a disaster.

000

Well what do you all think? it's the longest fanfic I have even written o.o Anyways if I do add a new chapter Byakuya will be coming ^^ (insert fan girl squeal here)

oh and by the way this chapter takes place on the December 22nd which would be a Monday this year...so yeah just thought you should know. :P lol

One more thing, please review they make my day. Also they will help me decide if i want to continue this story. ^^

--IchiRuki Obsessed


	2. Why me?

Hello again! :D sorry for the late update and I hope you all enjoy this chapter. Sorry if there's any spelling or grammar mistakes :(

_I do not own Bleach or Ichigo and Rukia who have hundreds of little babies running around lol._

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"DAMMIT!" Ichigo cussed swinging upside down from the Kurosaki roof by Christmas lights. Meanwhile Isshin was laughing his ass off watching his son from on top of the roof.

"What's going on!?" screamed a concerned Rukia, running out the front door. She stopped in her tracks when she saw the dangling strawberry. She immediately started giggling uncontrollably.

"Having fun Ichi?" she smirked trying to control her laughter.

"Shut up midget and get me down from here!" Ichigo bellowed down at the tiny Shinigami.

"Is that anyway to ask someone for help?" she asked with a fake pout.

"Come on Rukia!" he whimpered with a frown even though it was upside down to Rukia.

"Well, maybe if you were more careful you wouldn't have gotten youself into this situation," she replied crossing her arms over her chest.

"That freak of a father," he pointed up at Isshin who had tears in his eyes from laughing so hard. "PUSHED ME!" Ichigo finished waving his arms around.

" Oh...well, I would help you if I wasn't going meet Nii-sama right now," she comment walking back into the clinic and started putting on her shoes with an amused smile in place.

"WHAT!?" screamed an even more pissed off Ichigo.

"Sorry, strawberry" a chuckling Rukia said walking out the front door.

"Your just going to leave me here!?" Ichigo cried out.

"I'm not heartless Ichigo, I'll get you down when we get back," the raven-haired girl replied with a evil grin.

"BITCH!" cussed the orange-haired teen.

"Bye Ichigo-kun," she waved at him in her fake school girl voice, then started walking down the street.

"RUKIA GET BACK HERE! COME ON! MY HEADS GOING NUMB!" he screamed waving his arms in the air causing himself to swing even more.

"Yo pop! Are you gonna get me down from here!?" He called out to his father whose laughter seemed to have died down.

"Sure thing my boy!" he said in his overly cheery way as he started to untangle Ichigo's legs.

"The Gingerbread cookies are done!" Yuzu announced from the kitchen.

"Yay cookies!" Isshin bellowed leaving his son and started climbing down the ladder.

"What the hell old man!? get me down!" an angry Ichigo demanded.

"Sorry Ichigo, I will after I get some Gingerbread" he replied.

"Your leaving you son dangling from a roof to go get fuckin' cookies?" the shocked Shinigami Representative asked.

"No, you got it all wrong, it's not just any kind of cookie.....it's Gingerbread!" the man said running in the front door.

"DAMMIT!! WHY ME!?"

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Rukia watched as the portal that connects Soul Society to the living world opened and two figures walked out.

"Hello Nii-sama" she said to her adopted big brother.

"Rukia" he replied with one gift in his hands.

"Hi Rukia!" the other person said. It was hard to tell who the person was; he was carrying a large amount of presents in his arms that rose up past his head.

Rukia knew that voice "Renji....?" Renji stuck his head out from behind the mountain of gifts with a big goofy smile. Rukia smiled back at her childhood friend.

"Hey Renji....are all those gifts from you...?" she asked curiously

"Nope some from me and some from the Captain..." he trailed off knowing she understood he got stuck with caring everything. She smirked at him. Then randomly Byakuya started walking pass her.

"Nii....sama?" she questioned.

"We must go to Urahara's and get Gigias..." with that he flash stepped out of sight. The remaining two people sighed.

"Want some help Renji?" she asked walking in front of him.

"Yeah, thanks" the tall red-head replied handing her some of the gifts. With that they both started walking towards Urahara's small shop.

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"Urahara!" Rukia called out as the three of them walked into the shop. they heard foot steps and soon a blonde-haired man with a green hat came walking into the room.

"Oh! Look at this we have customers! How may I help you?" Urahara sang pulling out his fan.

"Kiskue Urahara we need Gigias" Byakuya stated in his usual cold voice.

"Yes, yes...right this way captain and vice captain" the shop keeper said as he walked into some room in his shop, Byakuya and Renji, (Renji putting down the great amount of gifts first) followed.

Rukia walked around the shop looking at the new trinkets, while her brother and Renji were getting their Gigais. She noticed there was a lot of Christmas things for sale. She walked over to the Manga section and started reading a random one while she waited.

"Lady and......lady...I'm proud to introduce you to the new and improved BYAKUYA-SAN AND FREELOADER-KUN" sang Urahara as he walked back into the room dragging Byakuya and Renji by their collars. Renji was wearing a blue and red T-shirt with a black hoody over it. He also had on black jeans with black and white basketball shoes. Unsurprisingly he had a bandanna around his head. Byakuya had on an almost turtleneck shirt with a zipped up sweater-like jacket over it. He had the collar of the jacket popped up. His Kenseikan were out of his hair so his long bangs hung over one of his eye, but there was a opening in them for him to fully see. The captain also had on black jeans with a black and blue belt. Lastly he had on black sneakers.

"Don't touch me" Byakuya nearly growled at the shop keeper. Urahara immediately let go of their collars and backed away slowly smiling. Rukia had to say that they look normal in their new outfits.

"So Freeloader-kun will you be staying with us?" Urahara asked Renji from behind his fan. Just the thought of his last stay with the hat wearing man and his "family" made him eyes grow wide in fear.

"Ummm I d-don't th-think so...I-I'll ask the s-strawberry or somethin'...." he answered as he laughed nervelessly. The blonde man nodded.

"Well we better get going," Rukia announced.

"Put the payment on my tab," Byakuya muttered following his vice captain and little sister out of the shop.

"Rukia aren't ya cold?" Renji asked noticing she was wearing a dress with long socks in December.

"A little I'll just ask Ichigo to take me to the mall tomorrow."

"You only own dresses?"

"No, fool, dresses and skirts," she replied smiling up at the red-head. Renji couldn't help smiling back.

"Where are we going?" the cold voice of Byakuya broke in.

"To Ichigo's house...we're almost there," Renji replied. The clinic was in view, they could also see something orange......right below...the roof...

"Oh shit Ichigo!" Rukia yelled handing Renji the gifts she was carrying and ran towards the clinic. She stoped in front of his dangling form. He's face is bright red most likely from all the blood going to his head and he looked sick. He glared at her with his arms crossed over his chest.

"I'm not heartless Ichigo, I'll get you down when we get back," Ichigo mocks in a high-pitched voice.

"I'm sorry Ichigo, I didn't know we would be gone for so long...." she said feeling guilty as all hell.

"Just get me down!" He hissed. She jumps up on the roof and starts to untangle his legs.

"Almost got it-" she was cut off by Ichigo's legs becoming free and the teen falling into a bush down on the ground.

"Ichigo are you ok?!" she bellows jumping down to the ground.

"Oh I'm just FUCKING SUPER!!" he screams jumping out of the bush with leaves in his orange locks.

"What's going on here?" Byakuya asked walking up to the two Shinigami.

"Nothing much just that your sister left me dangling from the fuckin' roof for a hour!" Ichigo hissed at the man. Muffled laughs could be heard from behind the tower of presents Renji was carrying.

"I said I was sorry Ichigo..." Rukia muttered looking at her feet.

"UGH Rukia you should of just got me down before you left but noooooo you just had to be a fuckin' bitch cus that's just the way you are!" he screamed at her.

"Don't yell at me baka! I said I was sorry so get over it!" she hissed kicking him in the shin.

"Oww!" he yelled then glared at the short girl in front of him.

"Whatever Rukia.." he muttered walking into the house.

"Ichigo wait!" Rukia whined running after him. Renji and Byakuya looked at each other unsure of what to do now. Renji shrugged then they followed the two into the house.

"Merry Christmas-" Isshin's face came in contact with Ichigo's fist.

"That's for pushing me off the fuckin' roof then forgetting about me old man!" Ichigo screamed as he stomped upstairs.

"OI! Ichigo!" Rukia called following him.

"Ummm..." Renji muttered seeing who he assumed to be Ichigo's father on the ground.

"MERRY CHRISTMAS!" screamed Isshin jumping off the ground as if he never got punched by his son.

"Kurosaki Isshin," Byakuya glared at the man.

"Hello Byakuya-kun," Ichigo's dad said waving at Byakuya.

"Byakuya-kun...?" asked a now snickering Renji.

"Shut up" Byakuya growled at the two men.

"Ok Byakuya-kun, oh and Renji-kun you can put those gifts over there..." the man said pointing at a chair in the living room.

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"Ichigo why are you overreacting?" Rukia asked the teen that was laying on his bed with a pillow over his face. The boy sat up to look at the girl standing beside his bed.

"I'm not I just have a headache and I don't want to fight with you...." he muttered scratching his head.

"Oh..." she said looking at her feet.

"Hey midget don't be all PMSing" he teased.

"Shut up!" she barked. He laughed and smiled at her reaction.

"Well lets go see what the others are doing..." he said standing up and walking out of the room.

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"Gingerbread?" Byakuya asked little Yuzu.

"Hai they're really good" she said handing him one.

"So your Rukia-chan's nii-san?" Karen asked Byakuya who was sitting on the couch staring at the cookie he was just given.

"Hai" he replied taking a bit out of the cookie. His eyes widened slightly.

"This is good" he commented.

"Thanks" Yuzu said smiling walking back into the kitchen.

"Renji!" the captain yelled into the kitchen. Renji came running out with a spoon full of cookie dough in his mouth.

"Hmm?"

"Try this" Byakuya commanded handing the red-head a Gingerbread cookie. Renji nodded and took the cookie out of his captain's hand, pulled the spoon out of his mouth and stuffed the cookie in.

"iww gwood" he commented with his mouth full. Byakuya nodded.

"So who are you carret-top?" Karin asked.

"Renji Abari"

"I already know your name dumb ass I mean how do you know Ichi-nii and Rukia?"

"Oh...I'v known Rukia sense we were kids and Rukia became Strawberry's friend so yeahhh...." he answered scratching his head.

"Oh" the black-haired twin replied boredly.

"Byakuya-kun, Yuzu wants you in the kitchen!" Isshin screamed running behind him and poked him in the back of the head. The man turned around ready to deck the annoying fool, but he was already gone. Byakuya blinked a few times then slowly got up and made his way to the kitchen.

"What are ya doing goat chin?' Karen asked looking at her father on a step stool, tapping something to the wall over the hallway to the stairs.

"You will see soon..." he replied mysterically as he got off the stool, grabbed it a ran into the other room. Karom looked up, her bored look turning into a smirk as she turned her head back towards the T.V. soon she could hear foot steps coming down the steps.

"FREEZE!" screamed Isshin at his son and... 'third daughter' the two froze at the bottom of the stairs.

"What...?" A confused Ichigo asked. Isshin just replied by pointing up. Ichigo looked up and saw a mistletoe hanging above their heads. Ichigo blushed and looked down at a very confused Rukia.

"What's that...?'' she mumbled.

"It's a Mistletoe Rukia-chan...when two people are under it they gotta kiss" He answered with a perverted smile. Rukia's eyes widened as she looked at Ichigo who looked like a deer in headlights.

"B-but Byakuya's here...I don't feel like d-dieing today...." Ichigo mumbled.

"I told Yuzu to keep him in the kitchen for a while...so hurry up" he said pulling out a camera.

"I'm not ganna if you guys are here!" he yelled pointing a finger at the three people in the room.

"Stop being a baby...be a man! Kiss her son!" he whispered tring to keep his voice down. Ichigo glared at his dad.

"put the camera away and I will" that comment made Isshin pout.

"But I wanna blow it up to the size of the poster of your mother and put in your room!!!" he whined. Ichigo eyes widened.

"You crazy freak, no!" Ichigo hissed.

"Just do it before Byakuya-kun comes back!" Isshin loudly whispered....if that's even possible.

"Fine!" The strawberry barked. he looked down at Rukia.

"Ummmm" he muttered scratching his head. Out of no where Rukia punched him in the stomach, he curred as he dubbled over.

"What the fuc-" he was cut off by Rukia's lips crashing to his, his eyes widened as he felt her lips moving against his. When she pulled away she had a smirk on her pretty face.

"You take to long foo-" her eyes widened as she felt Ichigo's lips on hers. She smirked as she kissed him back.

"BYAKUYA-KUN'S COMING!!!" Isshin screamed. The two's eyes widened and they immediately pulled a part breathing heavy.

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Oh my god will Byakuya kill Ichigo for kissing Rukia....? Will he even find out? How will life with Rukia's overprotective brother be like for Ichigo? What will Renji do? Will I ever get any candy?! *hungry* Oh and on a random note...is this how you spell Gigias? .

I already have an idea for the next chap. It should up in about 1-3 days... again I'm sorry it took so long updating, pwease don't be mad at me. *hands you all a Ichigo shaped Gingerbread Cookies* ^^

Please review :D oh and if you could please look at my other fic. I'm kinda having writer's block with that story so requests would help. DX

-IchiRukiaObsessed


	3. Psychiatrist

Sorry for the late update. I was grounded because my microwave exploded when I was cooking a pizza... anyways here's the next chapter!!!

I do not own Bleach.....sadly. :( but I do own copies of the manga Vols. 16-25 XD

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_ "BYAKUYA-KUN'S COMING!!!" Isshin screamed. The two's eyes widened and they immediately pulled a part breathing heavy. _

* * *

Byakuya's eyes widen at Isshin's out burst when he enters the living room.

"What...?" he questions coldly, yet, unsurely.

"Ummmmm...nothing..." Isshin answers with a pare of wide eyes of his own.

"Then why did you scream Byaku-" the raven-haired man was cut off by Isshin.

"What are you talking about Byakuya-kun? I did no such thing."

"But I heard you-"

"No, you didn't" the man interrupted again.

"Yes...I did-"

"Nope."

"......Yes."

"I think I would of known if I screamed."

"You did scream."

"How do you know?"

"........I heard you."

"Are you sure you didn't just hear yourself?"

"....What? That doesn't make any sense" The kutchiki answered getting annoyed.

"Yes, it does."

"No, it doesn't"

"Are you sure?

".......Yes..." Byakuya replied slowly.

"What were we talking about....?"

"........You screaming....I...think..."

"But I didn't scream," sighed the father.

".........."

"How about this...Did anyone else hear me 'scream' in the last few minutes?" Isshin asked the other people in the room.

"Nope" everyone said in unison with a shocked expreations.

"See! I did not scream...are you hearing voices in your head Byakuya-kun?" The man asked raising his eyebrow.

"........"

"I know a good Psychiatrist I can recommend you to," Isshin continued trying to keep a straight face.

"I know for a fact you screamed," Byakuya commented angerly.

"Oh, poor Byakuya-kun, here" He sighed as he handed the captain a gingerbread cookie.

'Why did you give me this?" The long-haired man asked.

"It's gingerbread, They don't need a reason."

" ...I didn't ask what's the gingerbread's reason, I asked what your reason was for giving me it..." Byakuya said trying to think straight.

"I gave it to you 'cus it's yummy," The man answered with a smile.

".........."

"And it's shaped like a kitty," sure enough, when Byakuya looked down the gingerbread was in the shape of a cat with eyes, whiskers, and a mouth drawn in frosting.

".........." Byakuya wasn't sure what to say about that.

"What were we talkin' about?" Isshin asked scratching his head.

"......I don't remember" he mumbled.

"And yet, we're still arguing?" Isshin questioned.

"...."

"Dinner's ready!" Yuzu cut in, sticking her head out from the kitchen.

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OK I know this is a really short chapter but I have a reason...the original chapter was wayyyyyy to long...yeah, bad reason, well I'm going to upload the next part tomorrow and it will be really long as a reword to all the awesome people out there that like this story. :]

-IchiRuki-Obsessed


	4. Zero Division, wait, what?

Here's the next chapter! :D hope you enjoy. Sorry about any grammar mistakes. Oh and to the people that want to know how I exploded my microwave: I put the pizza in on high for 30minutest by accident when it was supposed to be for like 10 o.o and I walked out of the room and I started to smell smoke and when I walked back into the kitchen my microwave was on fire O_O and when I was getting the fire extinguisher...it really exploded. And that's how I got grounded XD

I do not own Bleach.....sadly. :( but I do own copies of the manga Vols. 16-25 XD

**Spoilers in this chapter if you don't know about Ichigo's father!**

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As everyone was sitting down at the dinning room table Ichigo started snickering. "I can't believe your brother fell for that," he whispered in Rukia's ear. Rukia had a very strong urge to punch the orange-headed-boy; but decided not to because it wasn't "lady like" and would most likely result in getting lectured by her Nii-sama later.

"Just be happy that your father saved your ass, or Nii-sama would probably being going bankai on it right now," she whispered with a fake smile. Ichigo cringes and the thought.

"Nii-sama how did you manage to take a vacation?" Rukia asks looking at her plate.

"After Aizen was killed there hasn't been much going on in the Seireitei so this trip was approved by the Captain-Commander," he answers in his emotionless tone.

"What's wrong Rukia? Not happy to see up?" Renji asked with a smirk. "Or is it because you wanted to continue making o-OWWW!" he finished with a scream of pain as someone kicked him from under the table.

"Making what?" Byakuya asked with a slight raise of an eyebrow. Rukia and Ichigo sent Renji a death glare that clearly said "Fix it or get ready to die."

"Ummmm....cookies..." Renji answered with a scared expression.

"What's with this family and cookies?" Byakuya sighed.

"COOKIES EQUAL SUNSHINE AND HAPPINESS!" Isshin screamed randomly.

"Fool. Why don't you think before you speak maybe then you wont end up looking like a moron," Byakuya said turning slightly in his chair to glare at the idiotic man.

"What are you implying?" the man asked with a raised eyebrow.

"That your a moron," Ichigo answered.

"I DIDN'T ASK YOU!" the man screamed jumping up out of his chair.

"I DON'T CARE! I'M JUST STATING THE OBVIOUS!" Ichigo screamed back, standing up as well.

"FOOL, NO ONE CARES WHAT YOU THINK!" the father screamed back

"DON'T CALL ME A FOOL!"

"Ohhhhh I get it that's Rukia-chan's pet name for you riiiight!???"

"Shut up old man!" Ichigo growled.

Isshin busted out into laughter "You didn't deny it!" He said between laughs.

"SHUT UP!" The red-faced Strawberry bellowed.

"Oh Rukia-chan, please turn my son into a man!" the laughing man said jumping over to Rukia's side.

"GET AWAY FROM HER YOU PERVERT OF A DAD!"

"MAYBE IF YOU LEARNED HOW TO MAKE A MOVES, I WOULDN'T GET INVOLVED!"

"Shut up!" this time it wasn't Ichigo that screamed, it was Byakuya. Everyone stopped what they were doing and slowly looked over a Byakuya.

"You people are impossible.I'm getting a migraine. Just stop this idiotic behavior, "the noble said in his cold voice as his eye twitched. With that said, the two men sat back down and everyone continued eating.

"Byakuya, how do you know my maniac of a father?" Ichigo finally asked, not liking the tension in the air.

"He is a former-" Isshin tackled Byakuya to the ground before the man could finish his sentence.

"Sssssshhh" the man shushed.

"What are you doing Kurosaki!? the noble hissed standing up, kicking Isshin in the stomach.

"Kurosaki Ichigo, take out you Substitute Death God License," Byakuya ordered.

"...OK" after Ichigo pulled out the badge he tossed to to the captain. Isshin had just stood up and was about to re tackle Byakuya from behind, when the noble spun around and pressed the license to the man's chest. Isshin was then pushed out of his body and had on what looked to be captain's robes.

"............WHAT!? YOUR A DEATH GOD!?" Ichigo, Rukia, Renji, and Karin screamed together.

"........Screw you Byakuya-kun" Issin hissed looking at the noble.

"Daddy!? What's wrong with daddy!? Is he dead?! What did Byakuya-san do?!" Yuzu ranted as she ran over to Isshin's body.

"Don't worry Yuzu, dad's fine." Ichigo said glaring at his father.

"But-"

"Come on Yuzu, lets go get ready for bed," Karin intervened leading her twin up the stairs. When the girl's room door shut, Ichigo turned to his father and barked,

"Explain."

"Well....where to start..."Isshin mumbled scratching his chin.

"What division were you in Mr. Kurosaki?" Rukia curiously asked.

"Awww, Rukia I told you to call me daddy-"

"Answer the question!" Ichigo growled, fed up.

"OK, OK... My division was the Zero Division." When the man was met with blank stares (besides Byakuya) he continued,

"The Zero Division is the Royal Guard..... they are located in the realm of the King of the Soul Society.... if you recall, this realm is Aizen's intended destination...upon which arriving he plans to kill the king and sit atop the worlds thrown. Understood?" The group nodded.

"I came to the Living World on a mission one day. Soon after, I met Ichigo's mother..." The man's face broke out into a perverted smile. "Then we made little Ichigo" he said patting his son on the head. Ichigo slapped his hand away and asked,

"So you were kicked out of this...Royal Guard?"

"Not exactly...I had a chose: To leave you and Masaki or leave the Zero Division."

"......You chose to stay with us..." Ichigo muttered

"Of course! how could I even think about leaving you and your mother! At the time, the most important people in my world?!" Isshin answered as if Ichigo was a complete dumb ass for not seeing it.

"I know that! I was just thinking out loud!?" Ichigo replied.

"Well...now that everyone knows" the ex-captain sent a glare to Byakuya who was currently sitting on the couch looking bored. "Lets all head to bed..." Isshin reentered his body then continued, "We have lots to do tomorrow."

"What kinda things?" Renji asked feeling left out.

"Lots...like we're gonna go cut down a Christmas Tree! and finish decorating the house because...'somebody' pulled down all the lights."

"If you didn't push me off the roof it wouldn't of happened!" The strawberry screamed.

"The details aren't important. Now everyone, BED!" The hyper man ordered.

"....Where do we sleep?" Renji asked unsure. Isshin started to think, then ran upstairs. When he came back down he had blankets and pillows in his arms. He tossed them on the couch and chair.

"There ya go," he said with a smile.

"Fine by me," Renji said jumping over the back of the couch, landing in a comfortable position.

"No," Byakuya stated unemotionally.

"Why not!?" Isshin whined.

"Number one: I have no night wear. Number two: I'm a noble and there is no way in hell I'm sleeping on a dingy old couch."

"Number one: We will lend you mine or Ichigo's pj's number two: That is no other place for you to sleep," Isshin answered in a mocking tone.

"No way in hell will I let either of them wear my clothes!" Ichigo was ignored as the two men continued their discussion.

"Or you could sleep 'natural' if the close don't fit your taste."

"You would like that, wouldn't you?" Byakuya commented with narrow eyes.

"Don't get full of yourself Byakuya-kun, I was only brain storming ideas" Isshin replied with a blank look.

"Sigh....very well we will borrow night close for tonight, then get some of our own tomorrow....but I get the couch" this last part made Renji pout as he moved over to the pull-out chair.

"Good, I'll go get you some clothes.....Ichigo, Rukia, goodnight," Isshin said walking up the stairs.

"Yeah yeah." Ichigo mumbled walking upstairs as well.

"Night Nii-sama, Renji," Rukia called following Ichigo.

"Ichigo what are you doing?" asked Rukia, as she watched him fiddling in the hallway closet.

"Getting more blankets, it's supposed to snow tonight and I don't feel like freezing my ass off," he replied dragging a pile of blankets into his room.

"Well I don't have to worry about that," she smirked sitting on the foot of his bed.

"Way's that?" Ichigo mumbled searching through he dresser.

"My Zanpakuto is snow and ice, I'm amened," she answered in a cocky tone.

"Good for you," Ichigo sighed.

"Your boring," She muttered.

"Your annoying,"

"Nope, I'm Rukia," she said with a smile. Ichigo started to laugh at the randomness of here reply.

"Wow," me manged to say through his laughter. This made Rukia laugh. They continued to laugh until Ichigo walked over to Rukia and bend down in front of her.

"Ichigo, what-"

"Shhh," he whispered as he leaned forward and brushed his lips agents hers. When he pulled away he couldn't help but smirk at the dazed look on Rukia's face. He turned and walked over to his desk, picked up the pj's he just picked out, and walked out his door and into the bathroom.

* * *

Sorry that the last part was kinda corny :( OK well....I ended it here because I didn't know where to go with this.........ideas are welcomed for the next chapter I won't be able to write the next chap. until someone helps me tell me what you want to happen in the next chapter and we'll see where it takes me. :D By the way, about Isshin's past; it's never said what his background is so the whole Zero Division, I made up, but I think it works, so tell me what you think :3

- IchiRuki-Obsessed


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